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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085309">From Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyjseo/pseuds/softyjseo'>softyjseo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abduction, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Character Death, Disappearance, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mention of mentally impaired person, Mentions of alcohol, Mystery, mentions of possible death - Freeform, missing person, takes place in America</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 02:28:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyjseo/pseuds/softyjseo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is the last picture I have of him.” Ten says. He can’t make eye contact with the camera, his eyes trained on the Polaroid in his hand. “This is from the night before he disappeared.”</p><p>“Yuta gave this to me,” Ten says, tears starting to roll down his cheeks. “He’s the one who took it.” Ten swallows, wiping at his nose before shaking his head. “Sometimes I wonder if this should tell me where he went. Who took him.”</p><p>October seventeenth is the worst day of Ten’s life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, other ships are mentioned - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey hello hi</p><p>so this fic came from the depths of my brain somewhere when Kun's pictures for From Home were posted. Something in that polaroid just sparked something. Also the fact that I've been watching a lot of true crime recently doesn't really help. </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/NCTsmtown/status/1317390460239818757">said polaroid</a></p><p> </p><p>This has been written in the span of two days but took me five hours overall. All mistakes made are mine. </p><p>warnings:<br/>Please read with caution if you are sensitive to this topic. I don't ask of you to read this if it makes you uncomfortable. Your mental health means a lot to me, and if you find you can't read this fic after clicking on it, I totally respect that and won't love you any less. There is talk of possible murder and death. </p><p>please, if you aren't sure about it: don't read it. your mental health means a lot. </p><p>and if you do want to read it, i hope you enjoy x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>October seventeenth is the worst day of Ten’s life. It used to be a regular day, a normal day where he would go to work, would do his daily tasks and get home after. October seventeenth represented absolutely nothing in Ten’s life, it was yet another twenty-four hours that simply passed by like all the other days of the year without a holiday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, October seventeenth is the worst day of Ten’s life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten sighs to himself as he looks at his reflection in the mirror. The bags under his eyes are a dark blue, reaching far down his cheeks. He used to be ashamed of it, really, and he used to work really hard to not have bags under his eyes. With a proper sleeping schedule Ten would never have bags under his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, though, Ten can’t find it in himself to care. He rinses his face and brushes his teeth in the silence of the house, the only noise around him the sounds of the outside world. He can’t really focus on anything and splashes water onto the ground, but Ten doesn’t care. He simply kicks the bathroom mat toward the puddle before he moves out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house is dark. The only light comes from Ten’s bedroom down the hall, but Ten doesn’t need to go there anymore. He will turn it off later. Instead, he walks further down the hall and enters the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a mug still standing on one of the side tables next to the couch. It’s covered in dust, the small amount of coffee still in it having acquired a certain smell. Ten can’t really place it, but as long as he doesn’t sit on that end of the couch, he doesn’t smell it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t move to clean it up. Instead, he walks further into the room and onto the tiled floor of the kitchen, where he switches the coffee machine on. He doesn’t bother turning on the lights. Ten has grown to not be scared anymore, alone in the house. He used to be. Ten never wanted to be alone in the house for long. And if he knew that he was going to be alone for a long time, he would ask a friend to stay over. Johnny was often more than happy to stay in the guest room, sometimes Lucas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten wipes at his nose as he waits for the coffee to brew. The machine is a gift from Johnny, one he had given Ten as a housewarming gift. It has way too many options, too many settings for Ten, but he knows how to make a regular black coffee and he can’t bring himself to buy a new one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his coffee is done, Ten takes the mug before moving toward the backdoor, opening it and walking outside onto the porch. The sun is barely setting in the sky, an orange hue casted over the land, and Ten sits down on one of the chairs. A thick fog has risen from the ground during the night and Ten stares into it, knowing the grass fields that lay beyond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The garden looks smaller with the fog surrounding it, for Ten can’t look further than perhaps a dozen feet, but he doesn’t think it’s scary. Not anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten takes a small sip of his coffee, the bitter liquid warming up his throat as it travels down. Ten never liked coffee very much, but he has grown to appreciate it over the years. It’s early in the day, and Ten knows that he will need a couple more cups throughout the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the mug is empty, Ten moves back into the house. He puts the mug in the sink but leaves the one on the side table where it is. He turns on the lights in the living room one by one before unlocking the front door, taking a step outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories of flashing lights and cameras in his face make Ten shiver, but he doesn’t stop walking until he reaches the mailbox. When he opens it he finds a newspaper and a few envelopes. Ten feels unnecessary disappointment sag his shoulders down before he shuts the mailbox again, taking the envelopes and the newspaper back to the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s halfway back up the path when he hears another front door unlock and open. Ten turns his head to look at his neighbor’s house, watching as the woman walks down the few steps and toward her mailbox. She hasn’t seen him, and for that Ten is grateful. He moves into the house quickly, shutting the door behind him, before heaving a sigh and leaning against the front door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drops the newspaper onto the other side table before moving back into the hallway, opening the first door on the left. The walls are covered with newspaper articles, pictures and other things that remind Ten of Kun. He drops the envelopes on the desk standing against the wall before turning on the only light in the room, making everything clearly visible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clothing articles lay on the carpeted floor, a pillow and blanket in the corner. The window is shut tightly, black fabric covering the glass so as to not let anyone see what is inside. Ten doubts it matters much anymore, for the world will see it eventually. He doesn’t remove the fabric, though, and instead takes a seat on the only chair in the room, aimed perfectly at a picture of Kun hanging on the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s his graduation photo and while Kun hung it in this room on purpose because he thought it was embarrassing, Ten has found himself looking at it every day for the past five years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows it won’t change anything, but Ten finds comfort in Kun’s innocent smile and the way he holds onto his diploma. Ten knows the story of that day like the back of his hand from listening to Kun tell it so many times, it almost feels like Ten was there with him. Ten used to wish he had been, simply because he would have loved to see Kun get showered in affection from his friends and family, but now he wishes he had been there simply because he wants more time with Kun. More time than Ten had been given. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a small television in the left corner of the room, but Ten doesn’t turn it on. Instead, he relishes in the silence of everything. In two hours the camera crews will be here, and Ten will have no peace and quiet for god knows how long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten turns away from Kun in his graduation gown. Instead, he moves his gaze across the walls covered in news articles, pieces of paper with words and theories scribbled on them. There used to be a big table in the middle of the room with seven or so chairs. The room used to be filled with people, but after so many years only one chair remains. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shifts in the chair, turning his head away from the wall, too. He can feel tears start to brim in his eyes, can feel the urge to vomit come up, but he doesn’t move. He has nothing to vomit up, anyway. Perhaps his cup of coffee, but Ten doubts that would be enough. It won’t help, regardless. Ten will just be left feeling sicker and more useless than he already does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he should call his friends. At least one of them, just to talk. Just to feel like there is someone else in the world other than Ten, his next door neighbor and the pictures of Kun on the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cellphone is still in the bedroom, though, and Ten doesn’t want to go in there. He doesn’t have a house phone anymore, for Johnny had launched it at the wall four and a half years ago and Ten has never bothered to replace it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not like he gets many phone calls anymore, anyway. In the beginning his phone wouldn’t stop ringing, but now it’s quiet. Silent. And Ten doesn’t mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He used to think no news was good news, but as the years passed Ten started to doubt that saying. Now, he feels like a single phone call could break him in half. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten closes his eyes. He can hear the birds waking up, can hear them singing through the open window in the living room, and he manages a small smile. He can hear a car starting somewhere down the street, one of his neighbors ready to start their day, and Ten wishes he could, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung is picking up his groceries for him today, so Ten has no reason to leave the house. Kun’s car is still in the driveway while Ten’s is parked along the street. Ten has never bothered to move Kun’s car, but he doesn’t mind walking down to the street. Ten barely drives, anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten can hear the clock in the living room, can feel time passing, but he doesn’t move from the chair. He doesn’t want to, at least, but when his phone rings from where it lays on Ten’s bedside table, Ten stands up to take it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks down the hall and into the bedroom, taking his phone. “Hello, this is Ten.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart is beating in his chest even though Ten knows that it’s in vain. He has no hope left even though he wants to, but every time Ten gets a phone call he can’t help but feel even a sliver of what Ten supposes could be ‘hope’ make his way into his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hi, Tennie.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Ten tries not to let his shoulders sag and his stomach plummet, but he can’t help it. Especially not today. Instead, he swallows and closes his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Mark.” Ten answers, hoping he doesn’t sound like how he feels. Mark is one of the few friends Ten still has left, who still talks to Ten. Ten is grateful to have Mark, he really is, but he is more anxious about it today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you going to be alright today</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Ten sighs before he can hold himself back. He hasn’t really prepared what to say, expects the producer to ask him questions instead, so Ten really doesn’t know what to expect. It’s the last option, the last thing he can do to get Kun’s story out there, and so while Ten hates the prospect of it, he will do it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Markie. I’ll be fine.” They are also interviewing Mark, Ten knows, but Ten is the first one they are visiting. He knows that they will speak to everyone who was present on the seventeenth of October, but Ten isn’t worried. His friends are capable, know exactly how everything went down. He knows that they aren’t worried either, not about themselves. They are worried about Ten, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten always knows this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you sure? If you want one of us to be there we can to—” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Mark, thank you but it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Ten hopes that the tears streaming down his face are silent, hopes that Mark doesn’t hear it in his voice, but he doubts Mark can’t tell that Ten is crying. His friends have always been exceptionally well at reading Ten, especially now, and so he knows that Mark will come by after the camera crew has left. Ten can’t say he minds, exactly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tell them everything, yeah? Everything we know, everything we found out. We don’t know if someone out there knows something but doesn’t know they know something.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Ten hums. He understands Mark’s confusing sentence, knows the weight this documentary holds. And while Kun’s story is one of many the show will be telling, Ten still holds a small amount of hope that someone out there will have seen Kun. Perhaps even know where he is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head, though. He shouldn’t hope. He shouldn’t wish, or get his expectations messed up. He had learned how to feel about this during the years spent hoping, and Ten doesn’t want to do that again. “I know, Markie. You do the same, alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark hums. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course. Should we have dinner tonight? We could go to that new pancake place?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Ten wants to say no, wants to politely decline and spend his night alone, curled up on the couch as he stares at the mug on the side table, he knows that he shouldn’t. And so, he nods. “Yeah, sure. Invite the others, too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Will do, Tennie. You got this. I love you.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ten swallows the fresh rush of tears down, his throat locking up, and he shivers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Mark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten hangs up. He has the decency not to throw his phone against the thin walls of the bedroom. Instead, he drops it down onto the neatly made bed and walks out of the room. He checks if the bathroom is closed, checks if the guest room is closed and then moves past the open door of the room where all the news articles are. He walks into the kitchen and rinses out his mug, putting it down beside the coffee machine. He walks to the backdoor and opens it again, looking out into the fog once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s getting colder and colder, the Delaware winter coming closer by the day, and Ten shivers. He closes the door again before turning back to look at his living room. It looks presentable at best, but Ten isn’t worried. They won’t be filming here, anyway. Ten will direct them to the room with all the news articles that used to be Kun’s study. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten picks up one of his dining chairs and carries it into the room, putting it down right in front of the other chair. The other chair still faces Kun’s picture and Ten swallows as he turns the chair around, moving it away from Kun. He can feel his heart ache, but Ten doesn’t turn it back around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead he moves back into the living room again. He turns on the television and sits down on the couch. The camera crew won’t be here for a couple more hours, so Ten knows he needs to distract himself. He can hear his phone going off with text messages, knows the ringtones belong to some of his friends, so he doesn’t move to get it. Instead, he focuses on the dumb show on the television and tries to empty his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you perhaps explain what this room is?” The interviewer who introduced himself as Hendery asks, taking Ten’s attention away from where he had been focused on the wall behind Hendery. Hendery is young, Ten notes, but it isn’t particularly a bad thing. Ten doesn’t mind that Hendery is young, way younger than Ten is. He remembers what it was like to be as young as Hendery, living without the weight of the world on your shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten clears his throat. He knows the two cameras in the room are pointed at him, and while he feels nervous, Ten knows that he needs to do this. For Kun. “This — this is the room we used as headquarters, when everything was still fresh.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods, humming. He doesn’t have a pen or notebook in hand. He fully trusts for the cameras to pick up everything he needs while two others that had introduced themselves as Dejun and Yangyang are walking around the neighborhood, taking shots of the area and of the house. “Are these all the news articles that were written?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head. “These are the ones that we deemed important enough. I have a few others stuck in a binder.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you tell us a bit about Kun?” Hendery then asks, steering away from the news articles. Ten swallows and can feel tears start to well in his eyes, but he nods. He moves his gaze to the picture of Kun at his graduation and smiles weakly, finding himself encouraged by Kun’s forever smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He — uhm — he was — is the type of person to help you, no matter what. He would stop in the middle of the road to help you with a slashed tire. He is kind, loving and sees the world through a different pair of glasses than the rest of us do. He graduated with a psychology degree from community college and has always wanted to publish a book.” Ten closes his mouth and swallows. Kun’s first manuscript still lays in his bedside drawer with hastily scribbled notes written on them with pencil. Ten hasn’t touched it in years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“New Castle is a small Delaware town, and everyone knew him. Kun is the type of person to stop and have a chat with you walking down the street. He never wants anyone to feel left out, to feel like they have nowhere they belong. He always makes sure everyone is comfortable.” Ten closes his mouth again. He wills the tears away. He doesn’t want to cry — not yet. Hendery only turned the cameras on fifteen minutes ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods. “Was Kun loved by the community? Did he have anyone he didn’t get along with?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten tries not to scoff at the use of past tense, but he does frown before a dry chuckles leaves his lips. “The community loved him very much, actually. On his birthday we would get dozens of cards.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery smiles, making Ten send him a small smile too. “And he had nobody he didn’t get along with?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten lets out another chuckle before shaking his head. “Other than his parents, no.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery frowns. “His parents?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods. “They wanted him to be a doctor. When Kun announced he was going to major in psychology instead, they already distanced themselves from him. When Kun told them that he was gay, they disowned him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery scowls. “This is off record, don’t worry, but that’s literally the worst thing a parent can do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten chuckles. “Yeah, it is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think perhaps they might have something to do with it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head. “In the beginning I may have thought that, in the back of my head. The police talked to them, but they have a solid alibi and hadn’t spoken to Kun or tried to in over four years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods, again. Ten knows that Hendery isn’t here to have a nice chat with Ten, but he would like to know if he is doing well. “Do you perhaps have some pictures of Kun you could show us?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten knows that Hendery and his team have done their research, took a dive into Kun’s case before coming here, so he knows that Hendery knows what Kun looks like. Ten doesn’t say that, though. Instead he stands up and walks toward the dresser under the still covered window and opens the top drawer, taking out a small box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he sits back down he can feel Hendery’s eyes on him. “What’s in there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten sighs. He can feel the tears come up again, but he doesn’t stop them. Not this time. “On the night Kun went missing, some friends and him went down to one of the fields you pass by before driving into New Castle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten opens the box. The first picture he sees is a polaroid of Yuta, one that Johnny had taken, and he smiles. He takes the small stack of polaroids out of the box before bending down to put the box onto the ground. He sits up again, turning his attention back on Hendery, who looks as if he’s going to burst from curiosity. “I couldn’t make it. I had a late shift at the diner, so I sent Kun off with a kiss. He called me in the car. Johnny was driving, and I could hear laughing in the background. Kun told me to have a good shift and that he would see me back at home before he told me he loved me. That’s—” Ten swallows, can feel the tears flowing down his cheeks. “That’s the last— sorry— last time we spoke.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery is quiet, and for that Ten is grateful. He holds the polaroids close to his chest and sighs before taking Yuta’s picture and turning it toward Hendery and the cameras. “This is Yuta, one of my best friends. Going out to the field was his idea. He wanted to blow off some steam, and everyone else followed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten puts Yuta down before taking Renjun’s polaroid. “This is Renjun. He was only there for like an hour with his boyfriend, Haechan,” Ten holds the picture of Haechan — Donghyuck — toward the camera, “before they decided to head back home. Taeil,” Ten takes out Taeil’s polaroid, “And Chenle,” Ten shows Chenle’s to the camera, “Decided to join Haechan and Renjun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The stack is now smaller, way smaller than Ten wants it to be, but he doesn’t stop. He smiles down at the picture of Johnny before raising it to the camera. “This is Johnny, my best friend. He accompanied them to the field simply because Mark, his boyfriend,” Ten holds Mark’s polaroid out, “was going. And because, of course, he was worried about Yuta.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery hums. “So Yuta was worked up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head. “Yes, but not in the way you may think. His boyfriend’s flight got cancelled and they hadn’t seen each other in over six months.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery seems convinced enough. Ten stops himself from yelling that his friends had nothing to do with Kun’s disappearance. He knows that Hendery is just asking these questions to make it all crystal clear when the episode comes out, so he swallows it down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then you have Doyoung,” Ten holds up the picture of Doyoung, “He wanted to join because he had had a shitty week, too, and could use some running around in the fields to cool him down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery smiles. “And where is Kun?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten can feel his heart sink, could feel his stomach plummet. He looks down at his lap, where the only picture left lays. It’s Kun, and Ten’s hand trembles as he moves to pick it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the last picture I have of him,” Ten says. He can’t make eye contact with the cameras or with Hendery, his eyes trained on the polaroid in his hands. “This from the night he disappeared. All these polaroids are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten holds the picture out for the cameras and Hendery to see, but he still can’t make himself look at either of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuta gave this to me. He gave me all the polaroids.” Ten says. He can feel the tears starting to come down faster, can feel how his throat constricts and his hands tremble, but he doesn’t stop. “He’s the one who took this picture of Kun,” Ten swallows, wiping at his nose with his free hand before shaking his head. “Sometimes I wonder if this should tell me where he went. Who took him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A silence falls between the two men in the room. Ten can hear another car starting up outside, can hear more birds and can almost hear the clock in the living room. He tries to ignore the buzzing of the equipment, the feel of the microphone latched onto his shirt, but he fails. Ten sighs and counts to twenty in his head, hoping to calm his own heart and mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened, that night?” Hendery asks, breaking the silence. Ten is grateful, for the silence can be overwhelming, and he swallows once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kun told me what their plans were when I was getting ready to go to work. I was sad I couldn’t come, obviously, but told him to have fun. He kissed me — fuck, sorry—” Ten wipes at his eyes angrily, wishing the tears to stop. Hendery hands him a tissue and Ten smiles at him, dapping at his eyes with the paper tissue before blowing his nose into it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry, Ten. Your sadness and sorrow is completely justified.” Ten feels the words hit him like a ton of bricks, but he doesn’t show it. Instead, he just nods. It’s been a long time since Ten has felt that his feelings were valid. More often than not, Ten thinks he is overexaggerating. That he should be able to move on. But, Hendery’s words make him feel okay for even just the shortest of seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery waves him off. “We are here, in your home, to listen to your story and hopefully help wherever we can.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods. “He kissed me goodbye when I left for work. When it was time for my coffee break at seven, which is when I always have my break, Kun called me. They were already in the car on their way, and as I said I could hear laughter. It was Mark, most likely laughing at something Yuta had said, because I could hear Yuta, too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kun didn’t take his own car?” Hendery asks, looking at the wall as if he can see the car on the driveway through it. Ten shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Johnny picked him up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, without Johnny, he had no way of getting home?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head. “Not exactly. Doyoung could drive him, or Taeil.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery hums, motioning for Ten to continue. “I told them to all have fun and be careful, and then Kun told me he loved me and to have a good shift before we hung up. He texted me half an hour later that they had arrived at the spot teenagers use to hang out and get drunk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So this spot isn’t exactly rural? More people know where it is?” Hendery asks, making Ten shake his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not exactly. It’s still pretty rural in the middle of a field, but there’s a few pieces of furniture there and a barrel they sometimes use to light fires.” Ten explains, hoping Hendery gets it a little more. Ten, having grown up in New Castle, used to use that particular spot when he was a teenager, hanging out with his friends. When they graduated high school, they even hosted a particular wild party on said field. The memory used to make him smile, but Ten hasn’t been back to the spot in two years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, he texted me and I once again told him that I loved him and — and that he should be safe. And that’s the last I heard of him.” Ten finishes. He allows the tears to flow freely at the memory, the worry he had felt after getting home from work to an empty house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened after that?” Hendery asks, taking Ten’s attention away from where he had been fiddling with the paper tissue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came home from work expecting Kun to be home. When he wasn’t, I called Johnny to see if he was at their house. When Johnny told me that Doyoung had given Kun a ride, I rang Doyoung. When Doyoung answered, he was out of sorts. He was screaming that Kun was gone, that he had no idea where he was.” Ten sighs, shaking his head. He can still hear Doyoung’s screams echoing across the fields through the phone, can still feel the way his heart sank at the tone in Doyoung’s voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doyoung was the last one to see Kun?” Hendery then asks, making Ten nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was, yes. The plan was for Doyoung and Kun to clean up a little bit and that Johnny would take Yuta and Mark home. They were quite tipsy and Johnny was sober, so it seemed like the best solution. But, when Doyoung returned from throwing their empty bottles into the trash can that a few other teenagers had put down a bit away from the actual hang out, Kun was gone.” Ten knows that his voice is wavering, but he doesn’t want to say it again. If Hendery deems this footage unusable, Ten doesn’t know if he can tell the entire story again. He already regrets saying yes to Mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did Doyoung not call you immediately?” Hendery asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I called Johnny, he had just gotten home himself. Yuta was crashing on his and Mark’s couch. Which means that Kun and Doyoung had had half an hour to clean things up. Knowing those two, they kept chatting for a little before deciding to clean up.”  Ten says, knowing full well that Doyoung looks suspicious in this scenario. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming the police looked into that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods. “They did. Doyoung even offered to do a polygraph, which he passed with flying colors. Kun and him did indeed keep talking until Kun mentioned they should probably head home. When I called Doyoung, he had just returned to the hang-out where Kun no longer was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery hums. “So Kun was with eight people the night of his disappearance?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And none of them know what happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shakes his head. There’s a knot in his throat, the same one that had resided there for over two years after Kun’s disappearance, and Ten tries to swallow it down but to no avail. “No. They have all been investigated, have all been checked and checked again. And I strongly believe that none of them would do Kun any harm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods. “So when you called the police, what happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sparked chaos. Within an hour we had a search party going, hundreds of people out of town coming to look for something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It kept going for days, the perimeter growing and growing with each passing day that we didn’t find anything. I was out there for days at a time and wouldn’t leave until I was dragged back home. I couldn’t even — sorry — I couldn’t even step foot in our house. I slept over at Johnny and Mark’s place for weeks before I finally managed to walk through the front door.” Ten answers, a hiccup leaving him. Hendery hands him another tissue and Ten smiles gratefully before blowing his nose, once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else did the police do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“New Castle is a small town, so our police force isn’t big, either. Cops from a few other counties came over here to help with the investigation. When the local media got involved we received more volunteers willing to join the search parties, but eventually that stopped when we couldn’t find anything. The police had zero evidence apart from Kun’s jacket that they found close to the hang-out.” Ten answers. He still has that jacket. It hangs in the closet, untouched. It had been a hassle to get it from the police but after they stopped working on the case two years after Kun’s disappearance, Ten was allowed to keep it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think it never made national news?” Hendery then asks, making Ten look at him with a frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well — you said that the local media got involved, but didn’t mention the national news. How come they didn’t get involved?” Hendery explains, taking a sip from his water. It’s the first time Hendery does it, and it startles Ten. Ten has a glass of water too, but he doesn’t really feel thirsty. Ten knows he should drink something, for he is crying constantly, but he decides that a headache should be manageable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The police tried, but it happened around the same time when a serial bank robber was doing their thing in Los Angeles. That was far more important.” Ten says. He knows he’s threading among dangerous waters now, but he can’t find it in himself to care. Perhaps if the national news had gotten involved they would have gotten way better help, perhaps even the FBI, but instead of that they were left to their own devices with an understaffed police force. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope,” Ten continues, “That perhaps this might help. Even if someone just remembers something, has seen something, they should reach out. Anything could be a lead, a form of evidence, and we all need closure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need closure, Ten. It’s okay to say it.” Hendery says, putting his glass of water down on the desk. Ten eyes the movement before looking back at the camera. He nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need closure. If you saw Kun around the time of the seventeenth of October in 2015, please reach out.” Ten says, not blinking once as he keeps eye contact with the camera for the first time ever since Hendery came through the door roughly an hour ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for telling us this, Ten.” Hendery says, and the sincerity in his voice makes Ten want to curl up in a ball and cry. “Would you maybe want to share a story of the two of you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten freezes, but before he can say anything, Hendery beats him to it. “It doesn’t have to be too personal. Perhaps you could tell us about how you moved in here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods, because he can do that. He loves that story, almost too much. He takes a deep breath and he can see Hendery shift in his seat, before he opens his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ten feels himself getting slightly anxious. He knows that Kun is used to city life, coming from Dallas, and he can’t help but feel like perhaps Kun will get bored of Ten’s hometown far too quickly. It had been a mutual decision, to go back to New Castle and live their lives there, but Ten feels self-conscious as they drive into town, anyway. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ten’s mother is at the wheel, carrying the conversation between the three of them, and Ten appreciates it a lot. She went to pick them up at the airport and ever since then, Ten has felt this weird sense of anxiety close up his throat. Kun has been here multiple times during Christmas break and even once during spring break, so he knows what it all looks like. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That knowledge brings Ten a bit of comfort, even if it's just a small sliver of it. Ten watches as Kun looks out the passenger seat car window with a smile on his face. Ten doesn’t know if it’s merely a polite smile aimed at Ten’s mother or if it’s an actual smile of happiness, but Ten hopes it’s the latter. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ten’s mother pulls up to the driveway to the house Kun and Ten had decided to buy with some help from Ten’s mother and their savings, and Ten feels his stomach do a flip. It’s still as cute as the pictures they saw online, although the landscaping is a bit rough. Ten knows this house, used to bike by it every now and then when he was younger. It’s still as beautiful as it was when he last saw it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Home sweet home.” Kun says, opening the door after Ten’s mother put the car into park. Ten feels butterflies erupt in his stomach, some of his prior anxieties leaving as he too steps out of the car. The only furniture they have is a bed that Ten’s mother bought at IKEA and they have yet to put it together, but Ten doesn’t mind. Their stuff from Dallas will come in a couple of days and after that they can start making it into their home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Home sweet home, indeed.” Ten copies, taking a stand next to Kun. Kun wraps one arm around Ten’s waist, pulling him closer and placing a kiss against the side of Ten’s head. Ten smiles, feels every ounce of anxiety leave him, and he sighs. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ten doesn’t have a job yet, but he does have a job interview at William Penn high school soon. Kun isn’t looking for a job, instead trying to focus on his writing, and with a little help from Ten’s mother they can make it through the first month without either of them making any money. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ten doesn’t want to worry about that, though. Instead, he turns the key to open the front door and feels Kun behind him as they walk into their home, stepping foot into the bare living room immediately. The wallpaper is old and they have a few things they need to work on, but they have all the time in the world to work on that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After a cup of tea from the kettle Ten’s mother gifted them, she leaves the two be. Ten waves her off standing in the open front door and can’t stop smiling as he turns back into the house. He finds Kun in the study, staring out of the window, and Ten finds his anxieties coming back full force. He swallows heavily as he walks up to Kun, wrapping both of his arms around the taller’s waist and burying his face in between Kun’s shoulder blades. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s wrong?” Kun asks, turning around in Ten’s grip. Ten wants to say that he’s worried Kun will get bored, that he will leave and move back to Dallas without Ten, but he stops before he can do so as he makes eye contact with Kun, the man smiling down at Ten with so much glee in his eyes it startles Ten. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I— I’m just very, very excited and glad to be here.” Ten says instead, dropping his forehead against Kun’s chest. He can feel the vibration as Kun laughs, feels two long arms wrap around him. They have a lot to work on in the house, but the entire world is open for them now. They can do whatever they want, really. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Me too, Tennie. Me too.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten can’t stop the tears from falling as he shakes in his chair. They were in this very room, wrapped around each other and excited. The world was supposed to open up from them. They were supposed to have all the time in the world and yet, yet that was taken from them within the blink of an eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You met Kun in college, right?” Hendery asks, and Ten understands. The atmosphere around them has grown heavy and Ten feels his chest tighten at the knowledge. He nods, before taking a sip from his water and turning back to Hendery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both attended community college in Dallas, Texas. We met in one of our science lectures. Neither of us were excited to be there, really, but Kun made it fun.” Ten answers, turning to look at the wall once more. He wipes at his eyes, willing the tears to stop but they don’t. Kun had always looked so cute in his white lab coat, doing something he absolutely didn’t want nor needed for the future but was required to do because of the American school system. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why Dallas?” Hendery then asks, making Ten look at him again. Hendery is good at what he does, Ten admits. He’s good at reading people, at nitpicking subjects and choosing which question to ask, next. Ten wonders where Hendery went to school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shrugs. “I grew up in New Castle. I wanted something new, something fresh, and my dad was born in Texas, so I figured why not. My mom was less thrilled, but she let me go. She figured I needed it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods, “But your plan was to always come back to New Castle?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods. He can’t imagine living anywhere else, really. Dallas was fun, sure, and brought him some very good memories, but he can’t imagine living without the fields, without the Delaware river so close by. He can’t imagine not living here, with his best friends, and while this town now holds Ten in a chokehold from the moment Ten gets up in the morning, he doesn’t think he will ever leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kun and I had long talks, when our relationship progressed and flourished. We talked about moving in together after college, and since Kun had nothing keeping him in Dallas anymore after his parents disowned him, he offered to move to New Castle with me. I couldn’t imagine not having Kun close, but I didn’t want him to live here if he wasn’t going to enjoy it. But, after we visited my mom for Christmas after six months of dating, he seemed to be just as in love with the town as I was. Still am.” Ten says, looking down at his hands. Because it’s true; he still loves New Castle even if he can’t step foot outside without thinking about Kun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Delaware river used to be one of his favorite spots to go, but now he can’t seem to stop thinking about the possibility that Kun lays at the bottom of it. They swept the river, obviously, some divers and boats out there for days on end, but they came up empty every single time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most people in your situation would have moved out of this town. Why do you stay?” Hendery then asks, making Ten freeze. His mother is still here, and his father’s grave. He has his friends here, still, and he can’t imagine not living in New Castle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those are reasons he tells himself he stays every single day, but Ten knows that that isn’t the entire truth at all. “There— there is hope, still. Even just a little bit. That they might find him, somewhere. And if he comes back, I want to be here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery simply nods, and Ten finds he feels comfortable with Hendery now. Even though there are two cameras on him and he knows that the entire world will be able to see Ten telling Kun’s story, he finds comfort in the way Hendery looks at him. There isn’t any pity in his eyes, to Ten’s appreciation, and he can only find sympathy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery doesn’t tell Ten that he’s deranged, out of his mind, for staying here when it’s been five years. He probably deals with multiple families like this, with emotional people that stay in the past. Ten knows they exist, has met a few on online support groups his therapist recommended, and he even keeps contact with a few of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s Jaemin, who lost his brother. Although they found the body, they still don’t have a suspect. It’s been four years since they found the body, and Jaemin still lives in rage everyday. Ten texts him every now and then, just to check up on him. There’s a few more, but those are parents who have lost their children, people who have lost their spouses and the like. He doesn’t talk to them often, though, but Ten joins the chat group every now and then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of them have managed to move on, even just a little bit. And Ten has, to some degree. He is looking for a job again after quitting his four and a half years ago. He doesn’t burst into tears every time he wakes up to an empty bed, either. It’s small, but progress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure Kun can feel your hope, wherever he is.” Hendery then says, making Ten want to scream and yell that nobody seems to know where Kun is, even if he was taken somewhere by someone. Or murdered in cold blood. Ten knows that Kun can’t have disappeared out of thin air, that Kun would never walk out of Ten’s life like some police officers have started believing, but he doesn’t. Instead he squeezes his hands together and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to see him everywhere, you know?” Ten starts, without Hendery having to ask him anything. “I would see him in people at the supermarket, would see him walking down the street when nobody was there. I was on medication for a while, to make it stop. And it did, for the most part. But sometimes, when the days are especially rough and everything reminds me of him, I see him on the couch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten sighs. He sees Kun on the couch sometimes, sitting with his coffee mug in hand. How he would smile at Ten whenever he walked through the front door after work, put his mug down on the side table and stand up to greet Ten with a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s normal. A lot of people who have lost a loved one experience that.” Ten hums. He knows that, has seen it in other documentaries and his therapist told him so, as well. She’s nice and tries really hard, and Ten can’t imagine having someone else to help him through all of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you and Kun do together?” Hendery then asks, making Ten look up from his hands. He shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We used to do everything together. We loved going grocery shopping, used to love cleaning the house together and then watching a movie after. You have to enjoy the mundane tasks together, or else it won’t work out. Kun and I used to go to the Delaware river a lot, too. We would sit there and have picnics. We used to have movie nights with friends, and watched whole marathons together. Kun’s favorite show was How I Met Your Mother, and I watched it with him every single time.” Ten answers, the memories flooding his brain. He can still feel the way Kun used to hold him while they watched movies, can still hear the music echoing through the house as Kun did the dishes and Ten cleaned the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery nods, moving in his seat. His phone goes off somewhere in the distance, and he sighs. “That must be Dejun or Yangyang.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten nods in response. They probably don’t have a lot of time left, seeing as they have to visit everyone who was present that night and perhaps even go to the spot where Kun was last seen. They had asked Ten to join in one of their emails, but Ten had declined. He can’t bring himself to go back there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have one last question, then.” Hendery starts, turning back to Ten. Ten straightens in his seat before nodding, looking at both of the cameras before looking back at Hendery. “What do you think happened to Kun?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten swallows. He has thought about this a lot over the years, written down his theories and shared them with the police or his friends. There’s a few theories on the wall, in between all the articles and pictures, and he sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think— “ Ten swallows, “I think Kun was taken by someone. I don’t know who or how, but I believe that he was taken. They found car tracks on the road up to the hang-out that didn’t belong to either of the cars from our friends, but Doyoung doesn’t remember hearing a car. I think Kun was taken by someone smart, someone who didn’t know him but had the intention to hurt him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery hums, nodding his head. “Do you believe that Kun is still alive?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten feels a few tears fall down his cheeks. He wipes them away before wiping at his nose once more. “I don’t— I don’t know. I wish I did. I hope he is alive out there, somewhere. But I don’t want him to suffer, either. If the person who took him did— “ Ten feels his throat constrict, “did hurt him, did kill him, I hope Kun didn’t suffer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hendery hands him another tissue before leaning over to tap a few buttons on the cameras. Ten feels himself relax almost instantly, the knowledge that he is no longer being recorded comforting. He feels more tears come up, heavier ones, but he doesn’t allow them to fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doorbell rings and Ten is up in a flash. He dashes out of the room and into the living room, opening the door to reveal Dejun and Yangyang with their own cameras. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Yangyang greets him awkwardly, and Ten nods at him with a small smile before stepping aside, letting the two others in. They move to help Hendery pack up their stuff, ready to go and see Mark and Johnny, and Ten feels his toes curl against the carpet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waits, though, until Hendery has given him his card with his phone number on it. Hendery promises that Ten can back out of this anytime he wants, that if he has any questions he can always text or call, and that Ten will see the episode before it gets released. Until the three men walk out of Ten’s home, waits until he hears the front door close more than he sees it before he allows them to fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are silent, at first, and Ten heaves for breath with them. He crouches down to the ground, his knees hitting the carpet first as a loud sob rips from his throat and makes his body shake. He wants Kun to walk through the front door and be there to comfort him. He wants Kun to rush from the bedroom and wrap his arms around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants Kun to be with him, in bed. To drink his coffee on the couch out of his favorite mug and to cook for Ten when Ten comes back from work. He wants Kun to light up the house again, for it has felt too dark the past few years. Ten wants Kun back, but he knows he can’t have him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears don’t stop. Ten lays on the carpet, shaking and shivering as sobs wreck his body, and nobody comes. It’s not even lunch time, but Ten finds himself wanting a drink. He doesn’t, though, for he can’t manage to get up from the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls onto his back, letting the tears roll down to his ear and onto the floor, and he sighs. It’s been five years since Ten has heard Kun’s voice other than his voice-mail, five years since he had Kun’s arm around him as they slept. It hurts to know that he will never have that again, that Ten will never know what it feels like to marry Kun now that it’s legal, will never know what it feels like to slip a ring onto Kun’s finger and call him his husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it hurts. They had far too many plans, countries to visit and memories to make, and somehow, someway, it got cut short in the most cruel of ways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten lays there until his back starts to hurt and his stomach growls. He slowly makes his way toward the bedroom where he finds his phone, before calling to order a pizza. He can’t be bothered to prepare proper food, and so he sits down on the couch, waiting. He’s holding his phone, looking at the notifications from his friends, and he sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark and Johnny are probably done now, too. Hendery, Dejun and Yangyang are probably on their way to Taeil and Doyoung before they go to Yuta and Sicheng’s place and then, after that, visit Haechan and Renjun. Chenle isn’t in town right now, but Ten knows that he has an interview with them planned via a Skype call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten feels bad. Johnny and Mark had to arrange for Johnny’s dad to pick up the twins, and he knows that there is no way either of them can tell the twins why. In a few months their daddies will be on the television and perhaps they will explain it to them, then, and it makes eyes well up in Ten’s eyes once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It makes something ugly crawl up Ten’s throat, but he tries to will it down. When Ten brought it up for the first time, Mark and Johnny were the first to tell him to do it. Ten loves them, a lot. Loves all of them so much. That same love makes him eat his slice of pizza, makes him set an alarm on his phone before he falls asleep on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It makes him get ready for dinner at the pancake place downtown, and he waits on the sidewalk for Yuta and Sicheng to pick him up. When Ten sees them turning into his street, he finds it in himself to flash a small smile. Sicheng rushes out of the car before Yuta has even parked it, wrapping his arms around Ten as fast as he can. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten melts into the hug. He doesn’t want to cry anymore, but he can’t help it. He grabs onto Sicheng’s coat, tugs on it as the tears fall and his shoulders shake again. He feels Yuta curl around his back, and it makes something tug at his heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Yuta then says, making Ten want to hit him across the head with the heaviest thing he can find anywhere near. He turns around in Sicheng’s hold as best as he can before flicking Yuta across the forehead, making an already crying Yuta gasp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t your fault.” They have had this conversation hundreds of times. Yuta keeps countering with the argument that he was the one to suggest they go out to the field that night, but Ten won’t hear it. For the first few weeks he desperately wanted to blame someone, wanted something to blame for his world crumbling down, but it’s never been Yuta. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or any of his friends, for that matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not even when Doyoung would eat himself up with guilt, for Ten knew — and knows — that neither of them knew what was going to happen that night. That none of them could have known or prevented it from happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta just wraps his arms around Ten before letting go again, allowing Ten to take a seat in the passenger seat. Sicheng takes the wheel this time and Yuta sits in the back, and Ten keeps his eyes focused on the front door as they drive away. He can almost see Kun on the porch, waving them off, and it hurts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did it go?” Ten asks, ripping his eyes away from the passing houses and trees. The atmosphere in the car is heavy, and Ten hates it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It went alright.” Yuta answers, swallowing. Ten eyes him through the mirror in the front and can see him fiddling with one of the holes in his jeans. Ten wants to crawl over and hug Yuta, but he stays seated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng just hums. “It — Hendery was nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng couldn’t really answer many questions, Ten supposes, for he was the one with a cancelled flight that day. But, Sicheng knew Kun well, so Ten hopes he just told stories about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was, yeah.” Ten agrees. He watches the houses pass again and silence falls once more, but Ten doesn’t mind this time. This is what the dinner is going to feel like. He knows Mark means well and it will probably feel less harsh and uncomfortable by the end of the night, but Ten knows that each and every single one of them feels guilty for what happened that night. Even if they don’t admit it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the thought of it hurts, for Ten doesn’t want his friends to lose themselves to it. He wants them to move on. And they are, to Ten’s happiness, one by one. Johnny and Mark have the twins now, and moved into a bigger house closer to the elementary school. Renjun and Haechan are engaged, and Sicheng and Yuta got married last year. Chenle is studying for his doctorate degree and Taeil has met a nice boy named Jungwoo. Ten is the only one who seems to be stuck, and while Ten knows it’s unhealthy, he doesn’t think he will ever find the ability to move on unless he learns what happened to Kun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And this documentary is his last hope to achieve that sense of closure. He knows he shouldn’t hope too much, but Ten finds himself he doesn’t have anywhere else to put his hope. He used to divide his hope onto the police, the volunteers and his friends. Now, after five years, Ten puts all of his hope onto this singular documentary, an episode part of a season with other stories just like Kun’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrive at the restaurant and Ten greets all of his friends with a hug. They get seated and the waitress smiles at Ten with pity in her eyes. The whole county knows, and while the searches were still going strong Ten wished more people knew. Now, though, he wishes for the exact opposite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He distracts himself, though, with the small talk his friends are keeping up until they are all seated and comfortable. Doyoung turns to Ten after the drinks have been served, and Ten swallows. “How are you feeling, Ten?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten shrugs. He hasn’t felt fine ever since he learned that Kun wasn’t coming back, but his friends know that already. This night is to show new hope and Ten wants to experience that, too. “I feel okay, thank you. Hendery was very nice throughout it all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was.” Johnny agrees, taking a sip of his coke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the group seems to agree. Ten reaches for his own drink just as Haechan takes his hand, making Ten look at him. “You’re very brave for doing this, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten just nods and squeezes Haechan’s hand. He holds onto it and takes his drink with his other hand, instead, and feels his heart hammer in his chest. He hopes others will see it like that, too. Ten hopes that perhaps his words move others to keep looking, to keep searching, too. “Thank you, hyuck.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten eyes the people around the table, who each lost a bit of their soul that night. He knows that they can’t sleep at night sometimes, either, and he knows that they fight their own battles with the circumstances they live in. Kun was their friend, too. Part of their group, a friend at the table on game and bar nights. A shoulder to lean on and a person they could depend on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all battle with it differently, and Ten is grateful to still have all of them. Without them, he wouldn’t have come this far. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heyo</p><p>the long awaited 'what actually happened' to Kun. </p><p>If you don't want to get spoiled and aren't triggered or sensitive when it comes to dark themes and such, you can read it without the tags. </p><p>I advise you to read the tags, though. </p><p>Thank you so much for the love and support part one got and the amazing theories everyone came up with were an absolute joy to read! Love ya</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>And onto some breaking news,</em>” The lady behind the desk shifts and switches her papers, swallowing before opening her mouth again. “<em>Approximately six hours ago, the Canadian police force was able to close a case that’s been holding the small town of New Castle, Delaware in its clutches for over five years now.</em>” </p><p>The lady disappears from the screen, displaying a picture of woods instead. “<em>With the help of the new season from the Netflix true crime documentary ‘Unsolved Mysteries’, the case was brought into the light of both national and international fans of the show. After two months, the new season started bringing in several tips regarding the case of Kun Qian, who disappeared from New Castle, Delaware five and a half years ago while on a night out with friends.</em>”</p><p>The picture of the woods disappears and changes into a picture of the New Castle police station, a door Ten has walked through too many times to count. “<em>The case went cold after a year of searching, but was never closed due to lack of evidence. But, the episode of Unsolved Mysteries that showed the heartbreaking story of his friends and lover at the time, Ten Lee, dealing with the loss of a friend and a life-partner, gave way for new opinions and, despite that all hope had been lost, new evidence.” </em></p><p>Ten can feel the tears falling, rolling across his cheek, as he sits on the couch. He’s sitting on Kun’s side of the couch, his mug gone from the side table. His mother is seated at the kitchen table, her hands closed around her mouth. Johnny and Mark are seated on the floor while Renjun and Donghyuck occupy the other side of the couch, sitting close together. Doyoung and Taeil are sitting at the kitchen table, as well, while Yuta and Sicheng dragged the porch chairs inside. Chenle is standing in the kitchen, his eyes trained on the screen. </p><p>Ten knew this would happen. He got the phone call early in the morning. Kun had been found. </p><p>“<em>With the help of an anonymous tip to the Unsolved Mysteries tipline, police were able to connect Kun Qian to a John Doe that was found four years ago in an Ontario forest, just across the border. Due to the fact that the John Doe was registered in the Canadian missing persons database, Kun Qian’s profile was never connected. But now, after five and a half years, this may finally bring some closure.</em>” </p><p>It doesn’t feel like closure. It feels like a stabbing pain in Ten’s chest, one he can’t ignore. It feels like his entire head has gone hollow, his mind completely shut down. There’s a suitcase at the door with his stuff inside, his mother’s right next to it. They are flying out first thing in the morning to Toronto, where Kun’s body is being held. </p><p>Four and a half years. Kun’s body has been in that morgue for four and a half years. And Ten never knew. They were out searching everyday, Ten was living in the unknown for so long, and yet the answers were there. When Hendery called him about the tip they had gotten a week ago, Ten hadn’t allowed himself to hope. </p><p>And yet, here he is. </p><p>“<em>Kun Qian was abducted from a hang-out with friends out in the fields of New Castle, where teenagers from the small town and surrounding towns often come. At the time of the investigation, tire tracks were found that didn’t belong to any of the friends’ cars. Although Doyoung Kim, the last person to see Kun Qian alive, states in the documentary that he hadn’t heard a car pull up to the hang-out and, according to local police, the found car tracks couldn’t be identified.</em>” Ten looks at Doyoung and sees that his friend has lowered his eyes to the dinner table, and it hurts. He wants to walk over and pinch his cheek, wants to hold him close, for this isn’t the fault of anyone in the house. </p><p>Ten doesn’t, though, knows that Doyoung knows all of this as well, but sometimes it gets hard to believe. Instead, he turns back to the television. News channels had been calling all day, and Ten had given them all permission to share everything. He wants the country to know what happened, wants everybody to hold their partner, their parents or their friends and children a little tighter tonight, tell them they love them because nobody knows when everything suddenly ends. </p><p>“<em>With the discovery and identification of Kun Qian as the John Doe, comes the question: What exactly happened? Fortunately, we know that as well. Kun Qian was found by local Canadian police next to a cabin. In the cabin they found another body, which belonged to one Ryan Giller. Apparently, just before Kun Qian’s disappearance, he was released from a mental hospital with a claim of full health. Ryan’s records show that he visited the United States several times after that, and it stopped the day after Kun Qian disappeared. After the tip came in, his car was compared to the tracks found at the crime scene and they were a match. According to Ten Lee, who we spoke to this morning, Kun Qian had no ties to Ryan Giller or Canada in general, so both the American and Canadian police suspect that there were no personal ties that lead to the crime.</em>” The lady almost sounds like she is going to cry as she rustles her papers again, turning to her male co-host. </p><p>Ten wants to add that Kun had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but he doesn’t. Instead, he watches as Kun’s polaroid appears on the screen, the same one that he still has in the box with the others. Although, the box now stands on Ten’s bedside table and is no longer kept away, hidden. </p><p>“<em>Ten Lee is coming to Toronto Canada to arrange everything, and we heard from the New Castle council that a memorial will be held once Kun Qian’s body has returned to his home.</em>” </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well,,,</p><p>u can yell at me in the comments, on twitter or in my curious cat! Kudos and comments are always highly appreciated &lt;3</p><p>have an amazing day, okay</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments are highly, highly appreciated. What do you think happened to Kun? Please share your theories!!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/softyjseo">feel free to say hello on twitter!</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/softyjseo">or leave your theory in my cc!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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